Falling Apart and Fixing Your Heart
by Pink Crane
Summary: Emma Approved Universe, After Alex leaves Emma has time to think about what is really important. Alex/Emma story, with cameos by all our favorites and maybe a few visitors from LBD.
1. Chapter 1

Her world was falling in around her, Alex had never just left her crying, he had always been her rock. Usually his "Badly Done, Emma" was followed by him talking to her in his gentle voice, making her see that she had been wrong, she had grown used to their relationship. Her earliest memories all contained him, by her side through everything, now she felt...broken. Another round of sobs, broke free as she heard him leave the building, she slammed the door to her office. Gone was the polished and refined Emma Woodhouse, in her place was the woman who had just lost the man she loved...her head flew up at that thought, her eyes falling on the camera placed on her desk. She loved him, so much for being a great matchmaker, she didn't even know when she was in love. Pulling her laptop off the desk, she settled on the couch pulling her throw over her lap, she replayed the footage from her cameras and saw him see her feed Frank some of Maddie's jam from her fingertip. There was a strange look on his face, she paused it to watch him, he seemed like he wanted to interrupt and walked away instead. Suddenly his behavior at Boxx made sense, her mind playing that night over again.

* * *

_She sighed in relief as everyone was finally seated, her eyes looking up at Alex who was not smiling at her anymore, she leaned into him._

_"Hey." She whispered as dinner was served to the guests,_

_"Emma." His voice was distant, she didn't like that, he was Snarky Knightley not Distant Knightley._

_"What did I do?" She asked, trying to recall if she had messed something up since she had seen him earlier today._

_"Come with me." He left the room and she took a nervous glance at the guests before following him, he was outside on the terrace facing away from her._

_"What is going on? Are you ok?!" Her voice panicked at the thought that he could be ill or hurt. He didn't turn around, so she moved in between him and the railing, forcing him to look at her. _

_"Alex." She asked softly, his eyes locked on hers and he suddenly looked sad._

_"I don't think Frank is good for you."_

_"He's harmless." She defended quickly, unhappy that he wanted to discuss Frank again._

_"I don't like him, you deserve better, I wish you could see that."_

_"Alex...what are you talking about?" She asked him, just as the railing behind her gave out and fell, his arms wrapped around her pressing her to him. She felt her heart speed up, his eyes were filled with something she wasn't familiar with. He didn't release her, just holding her in his arms, she laid her head on his chest. They stood in silence, neither speaking until she could hear Maddie calling for them..._

* * *

She groaned at the memory, she was a horrible person, Maddie was the kindest woman she knew. Had done everything she could do to help her when her mother had died, offering her everything she could find to amuse a brokenhearted five year old. Her heart hurt, she hadn't meant to hurt anyone, she loved Maddie. Frank...she couldn't believe she had agreed with him, Maddie's jams were exotic and locally made, just what they had aimed for. She had been so proud of those jams, putting herself out there and ending up hurt by someone she cared about. She would go visit Maddie in the morning, after she made a stop at Boxx to insist they use Maddie's jams, they owed her for making the opening a hit. Jane's words hit her then, reminding her that she had a list of people to apologize to, starting with Maddie. She closed her laptop setting it next to her on the chair she had next to the couch, Annie was next followed by Jane and Alex. Her eyes closed from exhaustion, she felt empty and drained, a little rest would be the only thing that helped. She felt more tears roll from under her eyelids as she discovered the blanket smelled like Alex, her fingers fumbling for her phone and dialing his number from memory. Four rings later... she heard his voice.

_**"You've reached Alex, I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message."**_She could hear her voice in the background, laughing at his message.

"Alex...I'm sorry. Please, I can do better..." She broke off crying again and hung up, she never let anyone else see her crying, it wasn't the part of her the world saw. She turned away from the door curling into herself, she needed him to tell her it would be ok, instead she had chased him away from her. She passed out from exhaustion, not hearing him return to the office...

* * *

He cursed himself inwardly as he entered the building after telling her he wasn't coming back, hearing her broken sobs had changed his mind and he was there to comfort her. Seeing her with Frank had hurt, knowing she didn't return his feelings, he had hoped that night at Boxx she was going to tell him she loved him. Instead she had humiliated Maddie alongside Frank, to everyone's horror and then didn't apologize to her. He opened the door, seeing her curled up tightly on the couch, her face puffy along with her eyes. She was sleeping, fitfully and he couldn't resist the urge to press a kiss to her forehead. The moment his lips met her skin, she relaxed a small smile on her lips,

"Alex..." She mumbled, before nuzzling into her blanket like a cat.

"Sleep sweetheart, I'm here." He whispered to her, she smiled brightly in her sleep.

"I can't do this without you, I love you Alex." Her sleepy words sent a jolt through him, she had just admitted to loving him, but in what way? Like the boring brother-in-law? Or someone she could be with, allowing him to hold her and kiss her.

"I wish you could tell me that to my face, so I could see those beautiful brown eyes of yours and know you really love me." He admitted softly, tucking the blanket around her, there was a shuffle behind him, Harriet smiled at him.

"She was a mess."

"I wasn't here, I need time away from here." He told her, she nodded understandingly, her eyes on Emma's sleeping form.

"I will take care of her." She promised,

"Thank You." He squeezed her shoulder before leaving again, he could go to the cabin and take a step back to reevaluate their situation, give Emma time to make amends. He just has to leave, he can't see her with Frank again, feeding him jam off her fingertips. She was his Emma...the girl he had fallen in love with and he couldn't believe that she could have fallen for Frank's fake charms. He pulled off onto the highway and drove past the city limits, feeling his chest squeeze tightly as he put more distance between them.

(That last episode broke my heart...Alex come back! Emma needs her Snarky Knightley, to tell her he loves her, and give her a chance to admit that she loves him back. Maybe more to come...after this next episode airs.)


	2. Chapter 2

When she opened her eyes she could almost pretend that Boxx had never happened and Alex was still her best friend. Just thinking about him made her want to cry again.

"No. I am Emma Woodhouse and I have more to do then worry about Alex!" She said loudly, ignoring how crazy that made her sound, since she was alone. Her first instinct was to reorganize her office, however she knew that first she had a few apologies to make, wondering how bad her hair was after sleeping on the couch as she walked out locking up behind her. The drive to her house was quiet and strange, there would be no Alex to chide her for leaving her backdoor unlocked or her private patio door open at night. She tried not to think about how her life would be without him, just as she stepped inside her house phone rang, she sighed and answered it out of habit.

"This is Emma." She tried to be upbeat, however the last three days was catching up with her.

"You sound as bad as he looks." Izzy's voice was teasing and light, she smiled at the sound of her big sister's voice. Pointedly ignoring the fact that Alex had been there, even though she wanted to ask about him.

"Morning to you too, Izzy." She walked up the stairs and into her bedroom.

"So what happened that made Alex flee from your side?" There was a subtle shift in Izzy's voice as if she was nervous asking.

"I messed up, Izzy. I am a horrible person." She heard Izzy sit down and the sigh that came from her sister.

"Emma, whatever it is that you did or didn't do, fix it as best you can. Alex is a mess, he won't even amuse the kids with stories involving you, which is almost all of our stories. I can only imagine how you are handling this, from just your voice I would say you are avoiding."

"How can I tell everyone I'm and expert Matchmaker when I didn't even know I was in love?" She asked, her voice unusually timid and confused, shocking her sister who was wondering if she needed to leave the kids with Alex and John and come back to help her sister.

"You finally figured it out, John and I have known for years, that's probably why Alex is such a mess."

"He loves Harriet, and why wouldn't he? She's smart, pretty, kind, and so many wonderful things that it makes sense...Besides he left me, alone and crying, He's never done that Izzy."

"Em, I can't tell you what to do. As far as I know he has no feelings for Harriet, he's been single for nearly five years, that's how long you have been business partners."

"That doesn't mean he feels the same...I have to shower and get dressed, I have some groveling to do today."

"Alright, I love you Emma."

"I love you too, Iz." She set the phone on her bed and dragged herself into the bathroom, showering quickly and dressing in some not so flashy Emma Approved clothes. She stopped long enough to grab a snack and then went back out the door. She pulled up in front of Boxx nearly an hour later, perfecting her hair and her commanding persona. She was greeted with smiles by both of the owners, as made herself comfortable in the chair just inside their offices.

"Miss Woodhouse, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Well, as you are aware your opening was a great success, thanks in large part to the work of Emma Approved."

"Yes, we were very impressed by your skills and professionalism."

"So then it wouldn't be anything for you to include some fabulous if exotic additions to your menu, I have enough samples for you to have them on every table for at least a month."

"Of course, that sounds wonderful."

"Great, this woman is local, she's talented and has an eye for great things."

"It would be our pleasure to showcase these for you."

"Alright I will contact you with a list of any additions to the collection. I'm sure you have a few people who can unload them from my trunk?" She all but purred, men were easy to manipulate she merely had to take on the air of someone unaffected by their charms, not that either of them were her type. They both jumped up and offered to personally unload the product for her, she smiled at them and led the way to her car. With a smile she opened the trunk and they nearly fell over themselves to unload the jam first. She left instructions for there pairing and departed with a smile on her lips.

* * *

"She's miserable, John. What is he thinking?" Izzy's voice traveled even though she was whispering, he closed his eyes not bothering to let them see that he was awake.

"He is as much in love with her as you have always said, she however apparently has a relationship with Frank something and he says she is changing who she truly is for the man."

"That is ridiculous, she does not like Frank, he's only a friend." Izzy insisted, he turned over to hear better, Izzy after all knew her sister best.

"She caused him to lose faith in her, whatever she did Iz...he's hurt pretty badly." John's voice trailed off, it was strained and weary.

"So is Emma! You didn't hear her John, she doesn't sound like my little bubbly sister, she sounds broken."

"We can't meddle, they have to work this out for themselves, seems to me that they just need a little time apart."

"He told her he might never come back..." Izzy spat, clearly she was at war with herself as to who to side with, and was having trouble deciding what they could do to help.

"We both know he doesn't mean that, he loves her, it would be like me trying to stay away from you...impossible." John told her affectionately,

"What kind of sister am I? My little sister's heart is breaking every moment he stays away, but I can't ignore that his heart is breaking too, John what am I supposed to do?" He wanted to comfort Izzy, tell her that unlike what she believed Emma didn't love him, she would never see him the way he saw her. Just thinking of her, seeing her face in the pictures in the house, the children asking for stories of their aunt. He could still see her last night when he left her sleeping, she had mumbled his name, saying she loved him...could she really mean that she loved him? That she wanted him over Frank Churchhill and every other man she knew? The images danced before his eyes, her marrying him, carrying his child, date nights...he groaned, then covered it like he was waking up.

"So Sleeping Beauty finally wakes up, wondered why you showed up at one in the morning, looking like Hell." John said, he was keeping the concern light, but there was real worry in his eyes.

"I needed a break...things are not going well..."

"And?" John asked confused, nothing short of a really bad situation would push them apart, he knew that they were aware of what happened but were allowing him to share if he was willing.

"We had a fight..." He hated that he sounded so hurt by it, they had fought many times over the years, but never like this. The Elton situation had been their worst one, or so he thought until she had taken her stress out on Maddie, hurting the poor woman's feelings.

"You and Emma always fight, why is this any different?" Izzy asked handing him a cup of coffee, he took it gladly, earning him a smile which instantly reminded him of Emma's.

"I don't know who she is becoming, how she is treating those that love her, her behavior to Maddie was horrid. She hurt her and didn't even feel sorry afterwards, its all because of Frank Churchhill and his stupid influence. Eating Maddie's jam off Emma's fingers, convincing her to remove Maddie's jams from the gift bags, encouraging her to embarrass one of her oldest friends."

"Emma has always valued your opinion, she listens to you more than anyone else she knows, did you explain what she made Maddie feel like?"

"Of course I did, she was already upset and I made it worse. She said Maddie was embarrassing us and that I was being unreasonable."

"Look, I love you Alex...however you did not hear my sister this morning...she is lost without you. I know you don't believe me, she does share your feelings even if she hasn't admitted it to herself yet."

"I don't know Izzy, she seems very cozy with Frank...for god's sake he made her feed him jam off her fingers."

"That horrible feeling in your stomach, its jealousy and fear that she might move on without you, you will never shut it out. I offer this advice as your brother, take the time you need but don't wait too long." John patted his shoulder and left the house for work, Izzy was watching him with that Woodhouse look.

"Frank might not be a rival but you and I both know all those dogs and pigs need to find out is that Emma is alone and vulnerable, they have circled her like predators for years, only the fact that she had you kept her from making those bad choices."

"I can't watch her with Frank...not again. These feelings, I didn't see them for what they are until Elton made a move on her, when did I fall in love with her?"

"I have always believed that you always loved her, she has always loved you too, look at the pictures from your Prom. The one where Patty dumped you, six hours before the dance and Emma swept in to go with you. That night was all she talked about for weeks afterwards, she was so proud to be your date. This past Christmas at the party, I have seen those pictures Alex, tell me she wasn't showing her affection then."

"She has done so many things this past year, some of them are amazing and others are so unlike her that it makes me worry for her."

"Then go be by her side where you have spent almost everyday of our lives, tell her how you feel, ask her to tell you her real feelings for you. She thinks you are in love with Harriet, she actually told me that this morning." He looked at her incredulously, Emma thought he could even see another woman when she was there?

"Harriet is a wonderful woman but..."

"Your heart is with Emma." Izzy finished sagely, he nodded, his mind swirling with the thoughts his conversations were raising. He would need to think this through,

"I'm going to stay for the rest of the week, if that's alright, think over what this means for us and then I will make my choice to go back or impose on you a little longer."

"Impose? You are family, stay as long as you need, if Emma asks..."

"I will talk to her soon, I promise Izzy." He told her, neither of them knew how true that would be, since the very next morning Anne would call and tell Izzy that Frank and Jane had been secretly dating the entire time and she hadn't broken the news to Emma yet.

* * *

(So OMG *spoilers* Alex heard her admit that she loves him! Well she said it loud enough and then he was all nervous before walking away...so he's back on Thursday!)


	3. Chapter 3

So writing this before the next episode premieres, of course it's time for the phone call from Anne, asking Izzy how to break the news to Emma about Frank and Jane. Then, back to Emma apologizing to Maddy. (**Bold **is Anne's side of the conversation.)

* * *

Izzy Knightley prided herself on being able to handle bumps and anything that could go wrong in her life. However when Anne Weston called her out of the blue, usually they spoke every Saturday or Sunday, she knew that something was wrong.

"Anne, how are you honey?" She asked as she turned on the coffee pot and grabbed her favorite cup.

**"I have something to tell Emma, but I don't know how to handle this, it's about Frank." **Anne was clearly worried about how Emma would handle the news, however she was more concerned with the fact that Alex wasn't there to comfort Emma if her heart was involved.

"What happened?" She both dreaded and wanted to know what had happened.

**"Frank came by today, to tell Ryan and I that he has been with Jane since before they both came home, they just broke up and he didn't want to hide it anymore." **Anne sounded angry on Emma's behalf, reminding her that she was grateful that Anne lived close to Emma, her sister would need someone if she was hurt.

"So he was flirting with Emma and leading her along to cover his relationship with Jane?" She saw Alex enter the kitchen, gestured to him to sit down, as she poured him a cup of coffee. Alex had heard the last part of her side of the conversation, there was silent fury in his eyes.

**"I know, what I don't know is if Emma's affections were involved, she always says she doesn't fall in love. But seeing them together, well Ryan and I hoped they might end up together, until I learned how he played Emma and Jane."**

"Honestly Anne, the only way to tell her is to go see her in person, I didn't see anything special between her and Frank, however you are there to see her more often than I am." Alex was listening intently, his hands curled into fists, he was barely keeping it together. Oh yes Alex had it bad for her sister, if they could only get each of them to admit it out loud.

**"I will go see her tomorrow morning, Harriet actually left me a message to come visit Emma for a lunch date, once I'm done here I will call her to let her know."**

"Call me and tell me how she takes it? I can sneak away for a night if she needs me."

**"Speaking of people Emma needs where the Hell has Alex been? She was wearing sweatpants and scrunchies to work, Harriet called me freaking out, and she said she couldn't reach Alex."**

"Sweatpants and scrunchies? She has only done that a handful of time in her life, Alex and her are not talking now, they are having difficulties seeing eye to eye." Alex was watching her with his wistful expression, she knew he was seeing Emma in her words, she knew that sometimes she and Emma were more twins than just sisters.

**"This is just a mess, I remember when they had that problem with Elton, and she was a wreck when he didn't show up for Thanksgiving."**

"I know, I just wish they would fix this and discover that they belong together." She saw Alex leave the kitchen, heard him talking to himself, she sighed to herself.

**"I'm going to go, Ryan is talking to Frank now, I have to go yell at him on Emma's behalf."**

"Alright, Thank You for telling me, good luck with everything." She hung up and waited for Alex to return to the kitchen, she didn't have to wait long as he reappeared in the kitchen.

"He played her!" Alex was rarely this mad, however almost every time he was like this, it involved Emma. When her loser boyfriend tried to get her drunk at 16, so he could get laid, Alex had been terrifying. The boy had been unable to move from where he was standing as Alex lifted Emma up and carried her out of the party, Emma claimed that she had no memory of what she told Alex that night, however John had told her that Emma was very affectionate to Alex. Emma had attempted to kiss Alex, who had pressed a kiss to her forehead instead, then tucked her into bed. Thankfully their father had been away on a business trip, so when she went to wake her sister and saw Alex in the bed next to Emma, they were curled up in each other's arms.

"Look let Anne tell her and then we can go from there, take today to think about what you need to do, about what you feel for my sister." She patted his shoulder as she left him to his thoughts, her mind already on how Emma would react to the news.

* * *

She parked in front of Maddy's house, knowing she owed this woman more than just an apology, with a breath she hurried out of the car. Her knock was soft at first, she didn't know if Maddy would welcome her visits anymore.

"Emma, dear come inside." Maddy treated her with the same affection she always had, not caring that anyone could see her, and she flung her arms around Maddy.

"I'm so sorry, Maddy." She cried as Maddy's arms wrapped around her,

"Baby, I know you didn't mean it." Maddy was comforting her and she couldn't find it in herself to not take the comfort. She missed Alex, he was the only one who could truly comfort her, the desire to be in his arms made her cry again.

"That doesn't make it right, I really am sorry." She told Maddy, as they walked into her living room, Maddy wiped away her tears with a tissue.

"Baby, I have known you for almost twenty-five years. You have a good heart, you want to help people, and sometimes you take on too much. I know you didn't mean what you said, because I know you."

"Still I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you, it wasn't right and I hope that I can make it up to you, starting with the news that Boxx is going to have one of your jams on every table for the next month or so." She announced,

"Oh baby girl, Thank You." Maddy looked close to tears, she smiled at her.

"Maddy, it is the least I could do. I actually had a favor to ask, Alex is...away on personal time and I have no idea how to do the business side."

"Tell you what, I will help you for two weeks, but I'm going to teach you how to do it yourself."

"Thank You Maddy!" She hugged her again, knowing that at least Maddy was back on her side, she would work harder to be worthy of her affection. They talked about Jane and her new job, how Mrs. Bates was doing, and Emma's own ideas to make the world better. Carefully staying away from anything to do with Alex, she didn't want to cry over him again, there would be time for that when she was alone. After spending a few hours there, finally giving Maddy the attention she deserved, she went back to her office. Her heels clicking on the floor, she stopped outside Alex's office, feeling the familiar ache in her chest at the sight of his empty office. She wanted him back, to lecture her and to comfort her. She all but fled down the hall to her own office, sitting in front of her desk with the camera, her eyes settling on the pictures of her and Alex from the Christmas Party.

"I will find a way to make you proud of me, I just wish you would come back to me, this is such as mess." She noticed that there was a message from Harriet, Anne had accepted her lunch date for tomorrow, her mood lightened a bit. She had really messed up with Anne's Baby Shower, putting her company's needs before her friendship with Anne, she would have to make sure Anne knew how sorry she was.

"I am Emma Woodhouse and I really miss Alex Knightley." She admitted to the camera, before she buried herself in how she would apologize to Anne.

* * *

(Thanks to all my reviewers, I might not post this before the next episode...we will have to see.)


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